Diego-san

He’s gone. My heart is broken.

Just about every night for the past 17 years he would sleep snuggled up next to me, pushed up against my arm pit, head on my shoulder. When I watched TV he would nap on my chest, softly purring away. He loved trying to rub his face against my face, not something I was terribly fond of, but there was no denying Diego-san. This summer as his health deteriorated, my new favorite thing to do was to push my finger deep into his paw and he would close his claws around it and squeeze back. It was like we were holding hands.

His paws were the size of a bear’s, and his tail huge and floofy (the vet techs always commented on his impressive tail). His fur was silky soft. His big personality filled our house. All the nights I was learning to play guitar, singing my heart out at the top of my lungs, Diego-san would sit right next to me, looking slightly irritated by the noise, but his favorite place was always by my side.

When my first cat, Mr. Max, who saw me through some of my lowest moments, passed away, I didn’t think I could ever go through that kind of pain again. Months later, I’d still look for Max around every corner, still expected to see him rush excitedly to the door when I got home from work (only to turn around seemingly disappointed it was only me), and even missed how he drooled when he purred soaking a t-shirt or two. I was scolded by a fellow cat lover for my selfishness. Since I gave Mr. Max a good home for all those years, and there were so many cats in need of a good home, I was being selfish by trying to avoid future heartbreak. So I decided to adopt two cats so when the day came and one of them died, the other one would still be around to offer comfort.

I visited the cat shelter looking for two cats that got along well. I was told about two the shelter was looking to adopt together, one, Thompson, a “special needs” cat who had lost a leg. Thompson had bonded with Diego-san so the hope was they could stay together. When I visited the boyz at their foster home, Diego-san pranced his proud prance to check out the visitor to his home. He all but crawled up my legs into my arms. I watched Thompson taking it all in, looking apprehensive as if trying to decide if he should run and hide. But it was like once Diego let him know I was OK, he came and checked me out too. I was all set to take them home right there and then. A friend cautioned however, that I shouldn’t rush into a decision. 

The next week there was an adoption show at Petco that Diego and Thompson were going to be at. I decided to go see them again. All the attention was on Diego and his friendliness and handsomeness, his strut and his swagger. I heard several inquire if they could adopt him alone but were told the preference was that he be adopted with his buddy Thompson. My heart melted because without Thompson, I wasn’t sure I would have adopted Diego. I loved the idea that Diego bonded with Thompson as much as Thompson bonded with Diego. I saw them together and they needed to stay together.

When I brought them to their new home it surprised me that when I let them out of their carriers, Diego bolted to the dark basement not to reappear for the next three days. Thompson was the braver one checking out every inch of his new home (I’m sure noticing Mr. Max’s scent). He even sat in my lap for a while that first night. I was worried about Diego, put some food and water out for him and on the third night I woke up during the night and noticed him next to my bed looking at me. The next day he didn’t disappear into the basement and the big personality I saw when I visited him reappeared. 

I was impressed by Diego-san’s athleticism. He was brilliant at catching bugs, flies, and moths. He was able to leap onto counters, the stove, the refrigerator and the high basement windows, places Max, Thompson, and later Theo, never even attempted to get to. Diego’s fearlessness frightened me some because it led to some accidents. I always figured he would be the first to go because of his reckless curiosity. There was the great soup incident when I spilled some soup on him not seeing him waiting to leap onto the stove. It burned him and he then became much more cautious when he saw me carrying pans and bowls. There was the night I noticed blood by the litter box and when I tried to grab him, he leaped into the unfinished basement ceiling. I called the fire department to see if they could help me (they couldn’t). I called a friend whose soothing voice coaxed Diego out from hiding. There was the time he scratched a hole in the window screen and escaped the house. I found him sitting on the outside window ledge shaking like a bunny as the busy traffic in front of our house buzzed on by.

He was the smartest cat I’ve ever met. He loved to wrestle Thompson. One day the two of them took their pre-pile stances. Suddenly Diego swatted Thompson’s lone front leg out from underneath him and then jumped on his now prone buddy. It was a mean move taking advantage of Thompson’s handicap, but I was impressed by Diego figuring out such an effective wrestling move.

Our special time together was right before bedtime when I would comb his long silky fur. He loved being combed and loved the special attention. This summer he stopped wanting to be combed because apparently it no longer felt good. I missed our special time together. I’ll forever miss our special time together. If there was something good that came out of the 2020 apocalypse, it was working at home allowed me to spend all day and night with the boyz. Diego-san made sure he appeared in every Zoom, Webex, Teams, Skype video meeting I participated in. He made appearances in trainings, legislative hearings and even during a court deposition. I was blessed having this extra time together with Diego as he got sicker and weaker.

I knew the end was near but the suddenness of his death is devastating. He died alone in another room. I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I needed to write this tonight. I needed to. The tears may never stop and my heart is broken.