Private Eyes

They like to keep a close eye on me. Never know what I’m going to do next not that it matters unless it’s a move toward their food dishes.
 

Relaxed and Letting Me Know

Norma is rubbing it in that some of us have to go back to work and she doesn’t. 

 

Memorial Day

Three day weekend. Why not have some extra fun?
 

Foreign Object

I bought this bed because it looked comfy. The picture showed two cats resting in it. The bed arrived four days ago and it took Alias four days to figure out he’s supposed to rest in it. Norma checked it out and made some biscuits on the inside pillow but still hasn’t climbed in it. And there’s no way the two of them can fit in it together. Oh well.
 

Experts

Lazy lounging. These two are very good at that.
 

La Di Da

Norma is belting out a tune.
 

Blockage

This is Norma’s favorite window to look out. I’ll have to teach her the phrase, “Hey Alias, you make a better door than you do a window…”
 

Siblings

I love this picture because you can really see that they are truly brother and sister. The markings on their forehead and cheeks gives them away.
 

The Plan

Alias’ plan for the weekend is to look sweet and handsome.
 

The Box

I moved Theo’s favorite box (he loved to hide and sleep at the back of the box) from our upstairs bedroom to the pile of boxes that I need to flatten to recycle. Theo had peed in the box. I was mostly able to clean it up and he still used the box. Alias and Norma took note of yet another change…
 

Young Blue Eyes

Norma’s eyes match the blue sky…
 

Office Boy

I’ve been spending more time in the office office as opposed to the home office. Alias is doing all he can to reverse that…
 

Trading Places

We all have our favorite spots when sports is on the TV…

 

Lounging

Looks like someone got an early start to the weekend…
 

Bright Boy

Alias has learned that one way to stop the mouse from circling around the plastic circle is to stand on top of it, smushing down the top and leaving no room for the mouse to move. 

 

Skunk Eye

I was planning on doing some work. Norma had other ideas for me.
 

The New Normal

Norma and Alias are still adjusting to the new normal. Last week I went in to the office to help onboard the newest employee. This week I’ll be in the office or at conference and trainings. A lot of change for the two of them… Neither napped with me over the weekend and Norma runs away nearly every time I get near (although she slept under the covers with me last night). 
 

Cat Rushmore

Or is it Mount Catmore?
 

Theo’s Memorials

Got Theo’s ashes and paw print. And thank you for all the kind comments and to the kind person at Meezer’s Mews and Terrieristical Woofs for creating the lovely memento.
 

Noise Not Her Thing

Someone’s not going to be happy tomorrow when a crew arrives to re-shingle our roof.
 

Say What

We were watching an interview with Lucinda Williams, one of our favorite singer songwriters. Alias clearly was surprised by what Lucinda had to say.
 

Say Cheese

Norma is an expert at doing goofy things with her face when I point the camera at her.
 

Reason To Cry

“When you lost your happiness

When no one's standing by

When nothing makes any sense

You've got a reason to cry”

                            -Lucinda Williams “Reason to Cry”

I lied. I said I wasn’t going to write about Theo. Instead, I was going to let what I wrote about him in my hopefully soon to be published memoir speak for itself. It’s one of my favorite parts of the entire book. 

But yesterday afternoon I had a dream where I was holding him. I knew it was a dream because I knew there will be no more holding him, being with him. I tried to force myself awake because my heart is broken enough, I don’t need a moment of delusion, a moment where I think he’s still with me when he’s not. I knew when I awoke I would feel even sadder, if that was even possible, and I knew that I have to move forward in a world without Theo as I did with the others that came before. I let him go for real last Tuesday so it was heartbreaking to let him go again even if it was only a dream.

Of course the last thing Theo would want is for me to be heartbroken. He spent a lifetime purring in my arms, butting his head against mine, rubbing up against my legs and his favorite way to show affection, licking my legs. Maybe it was always me projecting the goofy look of wonder on Theo’s face but he was full of awe and sweetness whether it was playing or napping with his siblings or staring at the dog living next door, or attacking the newest catnip toy I brought home for him. One of his many idiosyncrasies was he loved to pace, walking around in an elongated circle in the hallway of our upstairs bedroom. His namesake, jazz musician Thelonious Monk, was a pacer, walking around in circles during his performances. Theo was the first cat I named myself. I somehow stumbled upon the perfect name for him. He was my jazz cat.

More than any other cat I’ve known he loved routine. He knew the exact minute his next meal was scheduled and if I dawdled any, he did everything in his power to get me into the kitchen to feed he and his brothers. 

That’s why life during and since 2020 was so hard on Theo. Everything changed overnight. No doubt his own physical health was starting to decline but Theo clearly became depressed when Diego-San died. For the first time in his life he did the cat like thing of napping most of the day. He lost his wonder.  One of the most purposeful things for me during this pandemic was to try and find ways to help Theo feel a little bit better.  I truly question if I did so in anyway.

We spent 18 years together and during the past three I so appreciated how Theo was a remainder/reminder of so many of the most significant moments of my life just as my faith in so many things was wavering. He was always there when I needed him most. 

So what did I write in my memoir? I wrote that during the final years of Theo’s life I finally found our true bond. I was so unfair to him. I brought him into a home where two other cats had already formed a strong bond and it was up to him to figure out how to fit in. And then when I thought I was doing him a favor by bringing in more cats to our house when Thompson and Diego-San died, he again was the third wheel as Norma and Alias coming from the same litter had bonded from the start. The perpetual outsider trying to find a way to fit in. That was what I forced upon Theo. And in the end it was the the bond we held in common. I knew exactly how that felt facing a lifetime of that outsider, third wheel feeling. That Theo was so successful in navigating his way into getting his feline siblings to accept him I will forever be in awe of. 

He was goofy and sweet and I loved him dearly.